Marriage checkup

How is Your Marriage Relationship?
Written by JB & Shugie Collingsworth

Have you prayed lately for your relationship, and for God to make you the spouse He wants you to be? Maybe you've wandered from God, or maybe you don't feel as close to your spouse as you should. Pray and earnestly ask God to intervene in your situation.

Just think, if we prayed for our relationships daily and asked for God's intervention in our lives instead of trying to conquer on our own, think how differently things might be. This verse could become reality in our lives: "In everything with prayer and thanksgiving make your requests known unto God." Philippians 4:6.

Stress Can be Hard on Marriage
Stress is tough but also can be an excuse for couples not pursuing wholeness. In the "best of times" you do not have to worry. In the "worst of times," the worst of our personality comes out if we are not controlled by the Holy Spirit. Why do so many couples divorce after the death of a child? It is because stress can take a terrible toll. What are your stress points? What do you need to work on individually and as a couple so that stress does not get the best of you and your relationship?

The Importance of Relationships
The bottom line is that the relationships you have are very important. You live and move because of your relationship to God. If you follow Him, you function daily as He leads. The relationships you build are the most important. I have friends everywhere. I consider relationships above all else in life. I function best when with friends and when I have in-depth friendships. But, most importantly, how do I function with my spouse, my family, and my close friends? Am I treating them as unto the Lord?

Re-evaluate where you are in your marriage relationship. Does your spouse feel left out, or are you placing too much emphasis on your children? The bond of a parent and child should not be stronger than the bond with your spouse. Ask God to be
#1 in your life and make sure your relationship with your spouse is
#2. Your kids will grow up and leave but your spouse stays. Build good things in your marriage now, learning how to see things from His perspective.

Marriage Maintance/Checkup/Vitamins

Wrong or Right
He has made everything beautiful in its time.Ecclesiastes 3:11

When you made a covenant to your spouse, it wasn't just a promise to stay married. It wasn't a pass/fail exam. It was a sacred pledge to care for and nourish each other--to meet the other's needs and receive the other--to accept and embrace each other as God's personal provision for your needs.
But obviously, your wedding vows are made long before you really know the person you are marrying--before years of sharing the same house, the same bathroom, the same dishwasher, the same everything. By then you are aware of the maddening little things that just get under your skin.
It's at points like these when some husbands and wives conclude, "I think I married the wrong person." That thought is not abnormal, but it is dangerous.
If that thought has ever crossed your mind, I ask you to think carefully about this timeless advice from author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar: "I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person. But I do know that if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. It is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person."
All of us inevitably come to places in marriage where our objectives and attitudes clash with each other, sometimes pretty strongly. We don't make it all the way through without encountering stretches of road that are filled with potholes, bridges out and some steep grades. But what would happen if we chose to accept rather than reject, to be thankful rather than spiteful, to give encouragement rather than disapproval?
I guarantee you, Mr. and Mrs. Right are the people in your wedding pictures, even if it hasn't been looking like it recently.

DiscussIn what ways has your perspective changed toward your spouse since you were married?

Reaffirm your commitment to one another in a short letter to one another.

Pray:Ask the Lord to keep your heart contented, committed to a lifetime of not just living but loving one another well.

Devotion by Dennis Rainey

Marriage Maintance/Checkup/Vitamins

Cynthia and I have a wonderful sister named Beckie. She is loads of fun and SO spiritually mature. Cynthia and I often comment on how we wish we lived closer to her so we could get daily spiritual advise and wisdom from her. Anyway, she sent the below encouragement to me and I wanted to pass it on to you. This was written by a young lady named Amanda Jones. (Beth Moore's daughter)

"I think I may have mentioned this book before, but I absolutely love Devotions for a Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. That book is like vitamins for your marriage. I read the following portion earlier this week and have been wanting to share it with everyone. From "A Soul Filled with God" on p. 9:
Personal worship is an absolute necessity for a strong marriage. It comes down to this: If I stop receiving from God, I start demanding from others. Instead of appreciating and loving and serving others, I become disappointed in them. Instead of cherishing my wife, I become aware of her shortcomings. I take out my frustrations with a less-than-perfect life and somehow blame her for my lack of fulfillment.But when my heart gets filled by God's love and acceptance, I'm set free to love instead of worrying about being loved. I'm motivated to serve instead of becoming obsessed about whether I'm being served. I'm moved to cherish instead of feeling unappreciated.
If you looked in my book you'd see furious underlining and a big OUCH! scribbled at the top of the page. Isn't that good though? I would definitely recommend this book to any married couple. It gives you one reading a week for a year. " (Amanda Jones)

Here's to personal worship and loving our spouses well!

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

Oh, do you remember the good 'ol days when we were dating? Things were so fun and exciting. Everything seemed so fresh and new. Once upon a time, he opened the car door for you and brought flowers. Perhaps she complemented you and actually watched football all day long sitting right by your side. During those dating days, we were all about impressing each other. THEN, after the marriage, something like this may have taken place.....

Em vez de observar futebol todo o dia longo, ela pode querer que limpasse a casa. Em vez de trazer você floresce, acaba de querer você sentar-se e observar futebol todo o dia longo. Tentamos de amar, mas às vezes nós amamos na linguagem errada.

Sometimes it seems we are speaking a foreign language to each other. Learning a foreign language takes time and effort and as a couple we want to commit to learn our mates language.

As a quick review, the Five Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical

If you are not sure of your primary love language, take the 30 second test

Let's remember, When someone speaks my primary love language, I am drawn to that person because he or she is meeting my basic need to feel loved. When a person does not speak my primary language, I will wonder if he or she really loves me, because emotionally I am not understanding that person.

Receiving Love in my language provides the emotional security of knowing that I am Number One in his or her mind. You say, "I am married to you and choose to look out for your interests. "

This week we encourage each of you to concentrate on Words of Affirmation. The question to ask, "What are you "saying" to you spouse?"

The tongue has the power of life of death in a relationship. (Proverbs 18:21) "See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire." (James 3:5-12) If your spouse needs encouraging words to feel loved....Critical words are even more destructive.

When using words of affirmation
1. Use KIND words and tone of voice, even when expressing hurt.
2. Be SINCERE with your words
3. Praise SPECIFICS
4. Praise your spouse in front of others.

HOMEWORK FOR THE WEEK:

Sunday: Agree with your spouse that you will do your best to suspend criticism and complainants this week. Ask God to sensitize you to your critical words.

Monday: Give a word of Affirmation 5 times this week. Sunday morning we passed out snack bags of plain M&Ms. Mixed in with the other colors are 10 "green" ones. Do what you want with the other colors, but save the green ones for your spouse. Each time you receive a Word of Affirmation form your spouse this week, give him/her two green M&Ms.. The goal is not to have any green M&Ms at the end of the week.

Tuesday: Read to each other some of Jesus' encouraging words to us. Husbands read John 5:24, 6:35, 6:40 & 10:27-30. Wives read Revelation 22:12-13 & 17.

Wednesday: Turn the music on and dance.

Thursday: Set the timer for a 15 minute House Rescue, (put things where they belong) then read what you wrote on the 3x5 card on Sunday. (what do I admire about you) GET READY FOR GAMECOCK FOOTBALL!

Friday: Answer the following questions: 1. When was the last time the two of you together found something really funny...so funny that you literally could not stop laughing? 2. As a couple, if you could do anything you wanted as a team and were guaranteed not to fail, what would it be?

Saturday: Surprise your spouse by doing something they would not expect you to do today.

Sunday: Come to church

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES - GARY CHAPMAN

If you can give an example of how your spouse gave you WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, please share them in the comment below section. Let us spur each other on to LOVE and good works. (Hebrews 10:24.)

Marriage Maintance

Marriage Maintance is the word we use to encourage couples to work on your relationship on a regular basis. We hope you will have fun with the "homework". If you would like to leave a comment on why you LOVE your spouse, we would really like to hear it. Perhaps, it will motivate someone else to love better.

Sunday - Make a list of the top 10 reasons you love your spouse. Share them with each other.

Monday - Hug and Kiss as you come and go. Make this a habit.

Tuesday - Ask your mate how you can pray for them this week. Be sure to pray for them.

Wednesday - After supper, turn on some music and slow dance.

Thursday - Set a timer for 15 minutes. Work as quickly as possible and pick up the house. Put things where they belong.

Friday - Men - Massage her feet.Ladies - rub his back.

Saturday - Spend a few minutes reviewing your week together. Answer the following questions regarding your marriage relationship.
1.What did we do well this week?
2. What do we need to work on?
3. How can I serve you this week?

Sunday - Go to church!