Love Languages Acts of Service

This week we discussed the love language of Acts of Service.
Three Observations:
1) What we do before marriage is not a good indication of what we will do after we are married because we fall into the role model we saw in our parents growing up.
2) Love is a choice and cannot be coerced. Don’t guilt, threaten or manipulate your spouse.
3) My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language. People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is God speaks ALL love languages fluently and will teach you how to speak your spouse's language if you ask Him to.

Homework:

Sunday: Discuss the actions you listed on your 3x5 card. Are they reasonable? Do you understand that if your spouse does them, it is to express love and for no other reason?

Monday: Remember that love is a choice and continue the habit of speaking Love Languages. (and check box to acknowledge it) Speak Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving and Acts of Service at least once each this week.

Love Language
Words of Affirmation – What are you saying to your spouse?
Quality Time – Are you spending time with and hearing your spouse?
Gift Giving – You are so important that I was thinking about you today.
Acts of Service – Let me help you with …

Tuesday: Discuss which of your recent attempts to speak Love Languages have been the most comical to you and why.

Wednesday: Dance for 10 minutes and then give each other foot massages.

Thursday: Set timer for a 15 minute Kitchen Rescue, then discuss with each other what additional tasks need to be completed around the home. Ie. mopping kitchen floor…cleaning bathrooms. Make a plan and then work the plan.

Friday: Discuss the following 1) William Shakespeare once said, “I will praise any man that will praise me.” Do you ever feel this way? When are you most willing to praise your spouse without an ulterior motive? 2) Complete the sentence, “I like to be kissed…”

Saturday: Think through the past week and come to church Sunday ready to brag on your spouse for their efforts this past week.

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

Oh, do you remember the good 'ol days when we were dating? Things were so fun and exciting. Everything seemed so fresh and new. Once upon a time, he opened the car door for you and brought flowers. Perhaps she complemented you and actually watched football all day long sitting right by your side. During those dating days, we were all about impressing each other. THEN, after the marriage, something like this may have taken place.....

Em vez de observar futebol todo o dia longo, ela pode querer que limpasse a casa. Em vez de trazer você floresce, acaba de querer você sentar-se e observar futebol todo o dia longo. Tentamos de amar, mas às vezes nós amamos na linguagem errada.

Sometimes it seems we are speaking a foreign language to each other. Learning a foreign language takes time and effort and as a couple we want to commit to learn our mates language.

As a quick review, the Five Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical

If you are not sure of your primary love language, take the 30 second test

Let's remember, When someone speaks my primary love language, I am drawn to that person because he or she is meeting my basic need to feel loved. When a person does not speak my primary language, I will wonder if he or she really loves me, because emotionally I am not understanding that person.

Receiving Love in my language provides the emotional security of knowing that I am Number One in his or her mind. You say, "I am married to you and choose to look out for your interests. "

This week we encourage each of you to concentrate on Words of Affirmation. The question to ask, "What are you "saying" to you spouse?"

The tongue has the power of life of death in a relationship. (Proverbs 18:21) "See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire." (James 3:5-12) If your spouse needs encouraging words to feel loved....Critical words are even more destructive.

When using words of affirmation
1. Use KIND words and tone of voice, even when expressing hurt.
2. Be SINCERE with your words
3. Praise SPECIFICS
4. Praise your spouse in front of others.

HOMEWORK FOR THE WEEK:

Sunday: Agree with your spouse that you will do your best to suspend criticism and complainants this week. Ask God to sensitize you to your critical words.

Monday: Give a word of Affirmation 5 times this week. Sunday morning we passed out snack bags of plain M&Ms. Mixed in with the other colors are 10 "green" ones. Do what you want with the other colors, but save the green ones for your spouse. Each time you receive a Word of Affirmation form your spouse this week, give him/her two green M&Ms.. The goal is not to have any green M&Ms at the end of the week.

Tuesday: Read to each other some of Jesus' encouraging words to us. Husbands read John 5:24, 6:35, 6:40 & 10:27-30. Wives read Revelation 22:12-13 & 17.

Wednesday: Turn the music on and dance.

Thursday: Set the timer for a 15 minute House Rescue, (put things where they belong) then read what you wrote on the 3x5 card on Sunday. (what do I admire about you) GET READY FOR GAMECOCK FOOTBALL!

Friday: Answer the following questions: 1. When was the last time the two of you together found something really funny...so funny that you literally could not stop laughing? 2. As a couple, if you could do anything you wanted as a team and were guaranteed not to fail, what would it be?

Saturday: Surprise your spouse by doing something they would not expect you to do today.

Sunday: Come to church

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES - GARY CHAPMAN

If you can give an example of how your spouse gave you WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, please share them in the comment below section. Let us spur each other on to LOVE and good works. (Hebrews 10:24.)