Good to Great Marriage Edition Session 2

1. Last Week Recap

a. Great Marriages Are A Process
b. The Process Starts With Acceptance, Evaluation, & Communication
c. You Grow By Taking Responsibility and Committing To Forward Movement
d. Forgiveness, Grace, and Unconditional Love Are The Foundation To build On

2. Why Don't We Grow - Pride and Fear (Pride can be fear in disguise)

a. It Blocks Honest Self-Evaluation
b. It Closes Off Communication.
c. It Wrecks

3. What Causes Pride and Fear Issues

a. Learned Coping Behaviors (We act out what we have been taught)
b. Past Pain & Hurt (Some may have pain bottled up. We can't put our pain off on our spouse. You must deal with it to move from Good to Great.
c. Disbelief in God and His Word

4. How Does Pride and Fear Play Out In Our Daily Lives

a. Denial Of Problems: Silent Death
b. Deflection Of Issue: Argumentative Death

5. The Solution To Pride And Fear - Humility & Trust
a. Admit You Are broken
b. Confess Your Brokenness To God and To Your Spouse
c. Drop The Masks And Talk Openly With Love and Grace
d. Step forward Trusting God With Yourself And Your Spouse

HOMEWORK

1. Find a way this week to do something toghether as a couple where you can talk. Ideas could include dinner, a walk, coffee and dessert.

2. Have a conversation about an area in your marriage that you have avoided. Make sure that your conversation avoids any fear of pride tactics. Bathe your conversation in forgiveness, grace, and acceptance while requesting loving truth from one another.

3. Commit to one another to grow in at least one specific area in your marriage. Make sure that you know how you are going to measure that growth.

4. Grade Yourself In These Areas with a number between 1-7. Grade Your Spouse Also. Compare your results and then discuss the differences in your scores. A Grade of 1 = poor and 7 = Excellent
Loving, Open Communication, Forgiving, Acceptance, Blaming, Patient

5. Agree to pray for one antoher this week. Ask your spouse how you can pray for them.

6. Do something for your spouse this week that shows your commitment to this journey.

Shandon University

Two or three times a year, Shandon Baptist Church, offers a discipleship/Bible Study on Sunday evenings called Shandon University or Shandon U. Dates for Spring semester are Feb. 15 - March 15. Everyone is invited to participate in the courses.

Kynn and I are taking the course Good to Great Marriage Edition taught by Steve Turner. Below are our notes from the first session.

1. Great Marriages Are A Process. (The process is never ending. It begins when you say "I do" and last until "death do we part".

2. Parts of The Process
a. Acceptance And Grace
b. Honest Evaluation (Be honest about yourself with yourself)
c. Open Communication
d. Individual Responsibility

3. It Starts By Stepping Up
a. Commit To The Journey
b. Allow Faith To Conquer Your Fears
c. Take the Risk To Reap The Reward (Believe that God wants to do a work in you and in your marriage. We are being conformed to the image of his Son.)

4. Confidence Along The Way
a. His Salvation Makes You Accepted and New
i. Acceptance Frees You From Bondage To the Law
ii. Acceptance Builds Trust and Relationship
iii. Acceptance Creates Safety To Be and Experience Ourselves
iv. Acceptance Increases Initiative In Growing
b. His Forgiveness Covers Everything
c. His Love Is Continuous And Everlasting

Class Homework for the Week

1. What are three things you love about your spouse?
2. Find ways this week to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them.
3. What are three ways that you need to improve as a spouse?

Ask your spouse for their feedback on this issue (If You Dare)
4. In what ways (real or perceived) are you not accepting of your spouse?
5. When do you feel unaccepted by your spouse?
6. Discuss with your spouse the fears you have in being open and honest in your communication with one another?
7. What areas of your marriage are you afraid to talk about? Why?
8. Take some time to express your commitment to this journey of making your marriage great!

We were encouraged to push to excellence in all things. Even excellence in our marriage.

There is still time to join this class. I hope you will join us on this journey.