Welcome guest writers, Danny and Laura Stiller (see previous posts)
PLANNING QUARTERLY REVIEWS
by Laura Stiller
I wish quarterly reviews planned themselves, just like I wish weekly date nights would plan themselves. But they don't.I've learned two things about quarterly reviews since being married: they don't all have to follow a strict format/schedule/agenda AND it's absolutely wonderful to let Danny plan them, even if he forgets to pack something essential and it is a little more disorganized than I would have done it.
PLANNING - DATES/LOCATIONS:
We usually plan each quarterly review 3-6 months in advance. To start, we sit down and brainstorm places we'd like to go. We go all out and dream big (for example: the Grand Canyon and Alaska are currently on our list of "Places we'd love to go to on a Quarterly Review" - and need I remind you we live in TEXAS!) Sometimes we have a long list, sometimes we both agree on one place right away. Sometimes we can't eliminate a location because we REALLY want to go there - so we just plan more than one quarterly review at once.
Second, we look at our Google Calendar (which I LOVE because I can color-code our life to my little heart's content!) and block out the weekend(s) we want for our Quarterly Review. These dates are guarded carefully, and we don't reschedule them (because chances are they wouldn't get rescheduled) and we don't plan anything else during that time.
PLANNING - THE DETAILS:
We then talk through the logistics of the weekend and communicate any expectations we might have. Here are a sample of questions we ask each other:
PLANNING QUARTERLY REVIEWS
by Laura Stiller
I wish quarterly reviews planned themselves, just like I wish weekly date nights would plan themselves. But they don't.I've learned two things about quarterly reviews since being married: they don't all have to follow a strict format/schedule/agenda AND it's absolutely wonderful to let Danny plan them, even if he forgets to pack something essential and it is a little more disorganized than I would have done it.
PLANNING - DATES/LOCATIONS:
We usually plan each quarterly review 3-6 months in advance. To start, we sit down and brainstorm places we'd like to go. We go all out and dream big (for example: the Grand Canyon and Alaska are currently on our list of "Places we'd love to go to on a Quarterly Review" - and need I remind you we live in TEXAS!) Sometimes we have a long list, sometimes we both agree on one place right away. Sometimes we can't eliminate a location because we REALLY want to go there - so we just plan more than one quarterly review at once.
Second, we look at our Google Calendar (which I LOVE because I can color-code our life to my little heart's content!) and block out the weekend(s) we want for our Quarterly Review. These dates are guarded carefully, and we don't reschedule them (because chances are they wouldn't get rescheduled) and we don't plan anything else during that time.
PLANNING - THE DETAILS:
We then talk through the logistics of the weekend and communicate any expectations we might have. Here are a sample of questions we ask each other:
Is this going to be a weekend geared more towards relaxing and playing or for planning, communicating and discussing?
How are we going to travel? car/plane
Do we want to plan lots of site-seeing activities to do, or do we just want to relax with no schedule at all?
We also discuss finances and lay out a budget for each quarterly review. Here is what this usually looks like for us:
How much is this trip going to cost? (break it down and get specific - try to include every expenditure in a budget)
Are we eating out or bringing our own food?
How much are plane tickets? hotels? entertainment?
Will we spend any money on materials/conference registration/etc?
We also assign tasks to insure that all the preparations are taken care of. For example:
Who's responsible for booking flights (if necessary)?
Who will make hotel reservations or reserve a campsite?
Who is going to plan activities to do over the weekend?
Who's in charge of planning meals, grocery shopping or finding restaurants/coffee shops?
Now, the only thing that Danny is ALWAYS in charge of is discussion questions for our weekend. Even, if we decided that we need to just relax and play together for a quarterly review, Danny will still have at least a few questions for us to talk about. He has taken ownership of this part of our marriage, and I appreciate his leadership. If I read something interesting in a marriage book, or come across good questions on a blog, I am always free to bring them to the table during our quarterly review, but the responsibility for guiding the depth of our quarterly review falls on Danny's shoulders.
Danny and Laura Stiller were married on August 27, 2005. They fell in love while leading an inner city ministry together after college in Bryan, Texas. Two weeks before their wedding, while Laura was busy finalizing wedding plans and dreaming of marital bliss, Danny decided they needed to move to Greenville, SC for a better job opportunity and to pay off debt FASTER. Somehow, during their first two years of marriage, they moved four times, and squeezed there in the middle was a year in Columbia, SC and the Harris' newlywed Sunday School class. They are now half-way through the four years it takes to get a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and are maintaining their sanity with date nights, quarterly reviews, and lots of hearty "communication." They blog regularly at: thestillers.blogspot.com.
Danny and Laura Stiller were married on August 27, 2005. They fell in love while leading an inner city ministry together after college in Bryan, Texas. Two weeks before their wedding, while Laura was busy finalizing wedding plans and dreaming of marital bliss, Danny decided they needed to move to Greenville, SC for a better job opportunity and to pay off debt FASTER. Somehow, during their first two years of marriage, they moved four times, and squeezed there in the middle was a year in Columbia, SC and the Harris' newlywed Sunday School class. They are now half-way through the four years it takes to get a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and are maintaining their sanity with date nights, quarterly reviews, and lots of hearty "communication." They blog regularly at: thestillers.blogspot.com.
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